


ただいま

by shatteredcrystalwings



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, √A Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 22:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3627327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shatteredcrystalwings/pseuds/shatteredcrystalwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just this once, show me a happy dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ただいま

Flames licked and tore at the room, eating away at the building without the slightest hint of mercy. He didn’t move, had no desire to. Despite his own body beginning to grow cold with blood loss, the heat of the fire was still uncomfortably warm. How was it for Hide who had lost even more, he wondered? His body hadn’t gone cold yet. He wasn’t quite gone yet, just close. Did he still possess any shred of consciousness? Was he aware of what Kaneki was doing? Would he be mad if he knew?

Kaneki let out a dark chuckle. Of course he would be. Hide had gone through the trouble of dragging his body all the way here. He’d tried to make him coffee, tried to make him smile and succeeded in doing so, if only briefly. And now what was he doing to repay him? No, Hide wouldn’t be happy. The chuckle caught in his throat, turning instead into a ragged sob.

He pulled Hide’s limp body tighter against him, choking out an apology before raising himself, standing as tall as he could manage with Hide weighing him down both literally and figuratively. He couldn’t let himself burn here, he couldn’t let Hide’s efforts go to waste. Hide shouldn’t have… have _died_ for nothing. That would just be too cruel. And so he stood, and so he walked.

* * *

“Kaneki? Oiiii, Ka-ne-ki.” Bleary eyed, Kaneki woke to a familiar voice and an annoying tapping on his head done in time to the syllables of his name. “Jeez, have you been staying up too late studying again? It’s not like you to just fall asleep on me like that.”

_Huh?_

“…Hey, you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

As far as Kaneki was concerned, he had. For a moment he just sat there frozen as Hide looked at him perplexedly. Then, with slow shaking fingers, he reached a hand out, afraid that Hide’s illusion would disperse into mist at the slightest touch, and gently brushed his fingertips against his cheek. He was real. He was there. He was alive. It had all been a dream. Just a horrible, horrible dream that he was eternally glad to have woken from.

Not wasting another second, he stood in his chair and leaned over the small table as far as he could, wrapping his arms tightly around the boy in front of him, spilling the cappuccino that had been in front of Hide.

“K-Kaneki?”

“You’re alive…! Oh god, you’re alive…!” Kaneki gasped out through sobs, not caring as tears wetted his own sleeve and Hide’s hair.

Confused, Hide as well stood and stepped to the side so that the table would no longer be in the way, then raised his own arms to try to comfort Kaneki, wrapping his left arm around his torso and petting his hair with the right hand. “Okay, it’s okay, shh… C’mon, everything’s alright. You had a bad nightmare, huh?” he said softly, casting apologetic looks at the people around them. “I’m okay, see? Nothing bad has happened to either of us.”

Kaneki sniffled in his arms, nodding as a shudder wracked through his body. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah man, don’t apologize. Stop trying to shoulder everything alone. What’d you dream about? You can tell me, y’know.”

“…I turned into a ghoul.”

“Is that all? C’mon, that ain’t so bad. You know I’d still be your friend. Heck, how cool would it be to be friends with a ghoul?”

He managed to laugh a bit at that, but the fact that Hide was acting with the same acceptance as he had in the dream just hastened the tears. “…Some stuff h-happened, and I was tortured. I killed people. A-ate people. And then you… you…”

“I died?”

Kaneki’s arms around Hide grew tighter.

“Well hey, I’m here with you now, aren’t I? And I’m not planning to go anywhere any time soon.”

Sniffing away some of the tears, Kaneki reaffirmed his grip on the boy and nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck, breathing in the warm smell of sunshine. Yes, Hide was here with him. He was safe. He was alive. He was home.

* * *

_Ah… If only it could be that simple._

The cold air bit at exposed skin as he gently lowered Hide’s body to the ground, gently running a hand down the curve of his face and ending with a brief brush on his lips. He looked so beautiful in the illuminated darkness. It was so cruel.

He had heard of this man who now stood before him, and none of what he had heard made him optimistic about the current situation. He didn’t expect to live through this, but he would be lying if he said he really cared. Still, he would give it his alland would not back down. Still, he would try to survive this. For Hide, he would try to live. For one second more, for one moment more, he would try.

* * *

As the cold of the ground against his skin mixed with the cold of the blood leaving his body, he used his single remaining arm to pull himself across the snow-covered pavement to where Hide’s body still lay. Grasping an icy hand in his own, he closed his eyes and softly whispered “I’m home.”

**Author's Note:**

> *shoves feelings onto all of you so I don't have to deal with them*  
> And with that out of the way, I'm going back into denial.


End file.
